Thoughts from: L.A.
As I end the night with lingering feelings from finishing The Newsroom today, I can't help but think about, well, all the things I thought about after work. Why do some things still bother me and why do we care about people who we really shouldn't be wasting our brain cells on? I laid down on my reclined car seat for an hour and 15 minutes (not voluntarily - I was borderline angry while waiting) thinking about these feelings and why I felt them and why other people aside from myself feel the same way. Yes, I did come to a conclusion.
The reason why we tolerate people and end up caring for them way more than we should is because of the emotional investment we put in them way before things got really complicated. Because of this investment, it becomes harder for us to move on and honestly, it really makes it a crap load harder for us to drop it all and stop giving a shit about it. Sometimes these feelings creep up on us during times of severe boredom or really, any time you least expect it. We can't help it - we're only humans who are genuinely nice and genuinely cared for these people who were unable to reciprocate the care the same way. It's alright though. It's not a matter of not letting go, it's really a matter of how you nurture these feelings that will probably never go away. Some scars take longer to heal and some scars leave a mark that constantly remind you of the anger you feel inside. The key is to allow the anger to seep in and be felt, and then take a step back and analyze why you really feel that way and what you can do to help those feelings of anger slowly fade away.
What I'm trying to say is, maybe there isn't a happy ending - or no ending at all. Some things in life don't end, the same way some scars don't disappear. Just don't torture yourself in not knowing why you have all these uncertainties. Just live with it, deal with it, and move on from it. Scars are there to be a constant reminder of something. Don't be afraid of them, don't be ashamed of them, and most importantly, don't let the scars define you. The scars and marks are not the ending, but only a reminder of how you overcame that obstacle and how you just started anew and continued on. It's about living after all you've been through and having the strength to push forward. There is no ending, there is just an opening to a new path.
