Thoughts in: Springfield, Oregon!!!
Yes, I am in Oregon, how exciting is that? This place is all sorts of lovely - greenery everywhere, a little fall of rain, and the weather. The weather is the best thing ever! 50 degrees fahrenheit, oh, I am in heaven and I love it so so so so so so so much!! I am currently ending Day 2 of my stay here and everything has been wonderful and relaxing - just what I needed. I can't wait to see the rest of this place though.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of thinking (of course, I think a lot but sometimes I don't want to but the thoughts consume me). I'm in a really good place in my life right now - no more heavy weight of being in the relationship I was in. I didn't know how much I was being pulled down until I started doing stuff for myself because I finally could. Although the single life has been great so far, with just a few annoying suitors who I absolutely have no interest in, sometimes I wonder if I could ever trust a guy to be faithful to me and just love me for the rest of our lives together and stick with me throughout all the struggles. Somehow I just lost, if not all, a ton of hope in the whole guy-committing-to-me idea. Like no matter how many times they tell you they want to grow old with you, somehow, they'll end up throwing all that out of the window.
It's scary. I used to have full trust in someone and now I don't. I hope people are right when they say he's out there. And I hope that he truly proves to me that he means what he's saying - not like those half-assed words that are said when the good times roll, but are then forgotten when the harder times come along. I hope you find me, Mr. Right. I hope you're doing well and I hope you're in a good place in your life. Just be patient with me, okay? :)
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