A Year

Thoughts in: L.A. 

Hey there,

It's been a year since you told me you liked me, and in 12 days, it would have been a year since we made our relationship official. Would have. I wonder if thoughts of me have been filling your head today. I wonder if at one point, you paused whatever was going on in your life, and thought about me. Us. What we were a year ago. I wonder if it stings your heart. I wonder if you find one smidge of regret. I wonder if you're missing me this day. I wonder if it meant to you the same amount it meant to me. 

I often think of you. They used to be angry thoughts, which later turned to pity thoughts. But sometimes I just think of you. That's how I know that I really loved you. Maybe it wasn't the kind of love that would last a lifetime, but it was true and sincere. If anything, it was a love that tried and a love that fought. I can't compare the love you felt, but I hope that one day, you'll realize what the love that I gave you meant, and I hope that on that same day, you'll really realize what you've lost. 

It's interesting how a year in the life could change so much. All I know is, I'm a different person than I was a year ago. I've got so much more in me. So much more love to give to the right guy. He's out there. One day I'll see him, and a year and another year and many more years will come and I won't have to reminisce on the first day he tells me he likes me because he'll be telling me he loves me everyday. He'll fight for me especially during the times I'm too weak to keep fighting. He won't let me go and he won't be lead astray. And he definitely will not leave me when times get rough. So here's to what would have been a year of our relationship. Thank you for the 9 months we had, I'll cherish those memories forever. But most of all, thank you for letting me go, because the right guy is out there, waiting and looking for me, and I'll be better off with him than I will be with anybody else. I learned that that was the best thing you could do for me - letting me go, because I learned that I am really better off without you. 

I hope you're really doing fine. I'll be thinking of you. Thank you.