Hello Confusion

Thoughts in: L.A.

Hello again, blog. I forgot you existed until I felt the need to write again. Life's been good so far. Junior year's been pretty nice, if "nice" could really describe a semester thus far. I've been in a relationship with the guy I've been confused about since I started liking him last semester. It's been 4 months now and we're really happy. I'm just, once again, confused.

He's been every sort of loving until he does stuff or says things that suddenly change everything. Yesterday, he told me he doesn't like long and many kisses, which really caught me off guard. It made me upset and really hurt. My first relationship was a long-distance relationship and it would've been nice to be able to give him kisses while we were together. No doubt, he felt the same way. Now that I've finally got a significant other at the same place and at the same time, he throws that at me. It sucks because I do like long kisses that don't feel like just a normal peck. And it sucks that I can't even share that with my boyfriend because he "doesn't want the excitement in kisses to go away."

It's actually quite depressing really. Shouldn't the one just be absolutely crazy about you and not complain about that? If so, does that mean he's still somewhere in the world waiting to find me and treat me that way? Or am I just being overly emotional about it?

Either way, right now I just feel like I've waited 20 years just to have kisses turned down.

Awe

A Reflection from: L.A. 

May 16, 2014 was my last day of finals. My last official day of sophomore year. After all the things that have happened - all the time rushing by so quickly, all the time moving by so slowly - I can't believe that all those events and life changes made up my sophomore year. It felt like two different lifetimes, but in reality, it was just my sophomore year. If I would describe it in one word, it would be "change." Nothing describes change as well as this school year.

From getting my mind to transfer, to entering my sophomore year in Elon knowing that it would be my last semester there and that I'd have to leave all my friends and family that I've met, to trying to live life to its fullest with the people I love, to moving to the other side of the country and to the unknown, to being ultimately unhappy about my new life in LA, to accepting the misery and dwelling in it, to picking myself up and getting over it and not being afraid of failure, to actually achieving goals, to experience new things I never thought I would experience so soon, and to finally being absolutely happy and thankful for the new life I've managed to get a hold of.

It definitely wasn't easy and there were many tears and sleepless nights on the way. But in the end, it was all necessary. Up to this day I cannot believe that I actually did it, and that I still need to keep trying and pursuing what I love and exploring new horizons because that's what life is all about. And I love it that way.

Today, I moved out of my dorm and into a house with a room of my own that I am absolutely in love with. Back from watching The Amazing Spider-Man 2 with my FASA fam, I lay here in bed for the first time and write. In so many ways I've grown and discovered new things about myself - things that I never thought I could conquer and get over. I've got so much growing left to do and I can't wait! Because all this hard work, all the emotional roller coasters and pools of self doubt make me feel that I can lose and win in life - and at the end of it all, I can proudly lay down and say, "I did it. I don't know how, and dang it I feel that I got lucky, but I did it!"

So did I like my sophomore year better than my freshman year of college? I honestly don't know. They were too different. But it was definitely a year of growth and independence. I'm so thankful for all the people that I met this semester - especially the ones that stayed until after spring break, and especially the ones I got closer to after spring break. They made L.A. feel like home, and I will be forever grateful for that.

Two years of college down. I can't even process if it was quick or not because in all honesty, it took a while for me to get to where I am right now. I don't know where life will take me or if some people will stay, but I hope that from now on, it'll be a great adventure down the road where the finish line is a goal I want to achieve.

I hope junior year treats me well, but until then, here's a toast to a summer where I hope I learn a lot of things and experience new adventures!!

Thanks, sophomore year. I appreciate you more than I can express.

I Remember How I Loved You

Thoughts from: L.A.

Four years have passed since we decided to put a break into our relationship. It's crazy to think that it's already been that long; crazy to think how we've both changed individually. Over the past month, during a few talks with some friends, someone asked me how many guys I've loved so far in my life. It's a simple answer: one. Some people thought it was cute and some people thought it was sad. But I think it's a great thing. I don't play with the word "love" so easily, so when I say it, I mean it. And I'm glad that I didn't just throw it away to other people - I sincerely just loved one person who was my only boyfriend.

I don't know what it was that made things feel so at ease with you. Maybe it was the distance and the fact that you couldn't force me to do anything because we were physically apart. Or maybe it's because you never pressured me into doing anything - you always put my feelings first.

I don't know how it would have been different if we were at the same place at the same time during our relationship. And honestly, I'm fine with never knowing because the past is in the past. But now I just wonder if I could love someone the same way. Because even if there's a sense of attraction at the moment, a part of me feels scared, maybe even terrified, of being with someone who's actually here. All the "what-ifs" start rolling in my head and all my insecurities start rushing in once more. Suddenly loving someone the way I loved you seems scarier than it should be.

Maybe it's just a phase or me over-thinking things like I usually do. But whoever he is that comes into my life, I hope he wipes away all my fears, and makes me feel secure.

Kiss Today Goodbye

Thoughts from: L.A. coming from Taiwan

I just got back to LA from my one week spring break in Taiwan. I miss my family so much already. One week just wasn't enough - but it's so much better than nothing. It's crazy how the presence of the people you love can change how you feel; how doing the simplest things could become so special, like watching TV with your family in the living room or going out to eat in Ikea. Being back here, I sort of feel empty again. Suddenly I'm scared that I'll have nothing to do and no one to see and that my emptiness will consume me and make me unhappy once more. I really don't want that to happen, and I hope it doesn't...I really hope it doesn't. Maybe I'm just being overwhelmed with emotions right now because I miss my family and I miss how homey Taiwan was. I miss speaking Mandarin to people and I miss buying tea from tea stores and I miss the night market. I miss everything. Except for the scooters. The scooters were annoying as hell. But I guess I gotta get busy living, so I hope my days will be filled with events and love.

Thanks to my family and to Taiwan for a perfect spring break! I wish I could've stayed longer.

Wake Up Call

Thoughts in: L.A. 

I had two wake up calls on Wednesday: the first, was to give up liking this guy because it's going nowhere and all the confusion in my head finally made sense. The second, was to snap out of my pool of self-doubt and discourage, and to just apply to get in the Film Production program here in school. I've thought about it a lot and before I was really thinking of just settling with a major in TV Production. I wouldn't have to do a portfolio and it sounded interesting. With the portfolio due date coming by so soon, I thought, "Yeah, I don't need to get into Film Production. Same thing anyway." Thank God I didn't end up not trying out for it again. I did that for Musical Theatre and I don't want to do it again. This whole not-believing-in-myself thing is getting ridiculous and if I feel that I'm not good enough for anything and never end up trying, I'll really never know. I guess I owe my wake up call to my film professor, who could be real mean in class but once he approached me and talked to me about applying to the major, things changed. Maybe I have potential - I'm not a pro and I have so much to learn, but the thing is, I love learning new things about film - about cinematography, lighting, editing, anything about it. So thanks to the wonders of Wednesday and everything that happened in it. Thanks to my friend, who I usually chat with during break in class, for not showing up - because he wasn't there, my professor got to talk to me for a bit and gave me hope. Thanks to my professor for being harsh - it only meant that once he's nice, he might be seeing potential (or not, but I'd like to believe so). Thanks to the guy for not texting me back - I finally got to give up on you and not be so caught up in liking you. Thanks to my two high school friends for coming to visit me that night - for the first time, I needed this place to feel like home, and you guys made that happen. And it was also comforting to know that I'm not the only one who's unhappy or unsure about what to major in.

It's a Saturday morning. I'm minutes away from getting ready to take photos for my photo story needed in my portfolio. I spent the rest of the week thinking about it and thanks to my roommate last night, I got the best moral dilemma. I have the shot list and storyboard ready. And... *breaks into song* FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVEEEEEEEEEEEER, okay maybe not forever, but for the first time ever since I attended CSUN, I'm finally excited to do something for my major and for my next 2 years left of college. I'm finally excited to try. There's no backing down anymore. Failure is no longer scary. For the first time since I got here, I found my passion again. This time, I'm not letting go of it that easily anymore.

So thank you, Wednesday. I'm awake now. Cue "Wake Me Up" by Avicii.

The Bright Side of Night

Memories from: Taiwan and L.A.

Four weeks ago I finally admitted to myself that I am unhappy in my new university. Los Angeles is great - lots of places to see, things to do, etc. But what I've learned from before and what I'm reiterating now is that the people you're with is what makes a place feel like home. Although I'm thankful for some of the friends I've made here in CSUN, it still doesn't feel like home, and until it feels like home, I won't find permanent happiness. However, what I'm most thankful for ever since I came here are my high school and elementary friends. I'd be so miserable without them. Tonight, one of my best friends and my classmate from high school came to visit me. They arrived at 9:37pm and left at like 1:30am; it was just the most wonderful thing. We hung out in Starbucks and walked around campus. The weather was nice and chilly and campus looked great at night, especially since there weren't people around. For the first time since I got here, I felt safe and more at home. Like there was hope for the human race again haha. It's so interesting to see how we've all grown individually and goal-wise, but at the same time, still stayed similar character-wise. I guess that's the thing with growing up with each other, being apart for a while, then catching up and picking things up where they left off. We're almost not the same people we were in high school, but we're still us.

What I'm trying to get at is, even if I'm unhappy here, wondering what I did wrong in life to deserve this state of loneliness, I guess I really must've done something right somewhere along the way to have made such great friends from Taiwan and Elon that appear in my life when I need them the most. I hope one day I can do the same for friends who need me. I'm so glad the two of them came. It really lifted my spirits.

Ten Day Challenge - Put into One!

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. Him: Just give me a sign that you like me and ask me out to hang out already!
2. Guy friend: Please explain to me what that day was all about.
3. Friend #1: Stop being so bossy and childish. 
4. Friend #2: Grow up. 
5. Best friend: Thank you so much for being there for me. I'm so grateful that I've got you near me because I don't know how I would've coped in this place without you. 
6. Best friend from Elon: I'm so happy that we got so close and spent so much time together. You're the friend I wished for when I started college, and I'm so sad that we both transferred out into different places, but thank you so much for keeping in touch and I hope we get to hang again soon!
7. Friend from Elon: I hope you don't go back to your comfort zone. You can tackle life - just don't let the absence of friends push you down. I believe in you :)
8. Dad: I owe my life to you. Thank you for supporting me - I hope I do you proud. I'm sorry studying in America is so expensive, but I'm so blessed you didn't force me to pursue something I don't love. 
9. Mom: I don't know what I'd do without you to talk to. You're always there to listen to me and always try to help out even in the smallest way possible. Thanks for allowing me to grow in my own way. 
10. Friendquaintance: I hope you're not cranky all the time...it's kind of hard to know what to do when you're cranky :P

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1. I pick on my nail polish when I'm bored. 
2. If I could sing and perform and make money out of that my whole life, I'd be really happy.
3. If I could take photos, edit, and have them published and make money out of that my whole life, I'd be really happy. 
4. I love food. I wish I could eat without gaining weight. 
5. I get excited about trying and seeing new things - no matter how tiny it may seem to other people. 
6. I love showering people I love with love. Lots of love. 
7. No matter how many times I have to do it, goodbyes never get easier. 
8. I get emotionally attached to people and things really easily. 
9. I reminisce often, and when I talk about something, I explain it in full detail. 

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. There has to be a spark. 
2. That person has to have goals and be passionate about what he wants to do. 
3. Trustworthy & not a party person.
4. Being open-minded and caring about others. 
5. Is up for adventures - whether they're last-minute or planned out.
6. Can easily talk to me.
7. Doesn't pretend to be someone else.
8. Can admit to being wrong and apologizes.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Him....lol
2. I hope I get a cool summer internship that I learn a lot from.
3. I hope I get accepted into the film program.
4. Wow, I'm hungry.
5. I'm unhappy here.
6. I hope things fall into place.
7. I wish I have someone I can turn to over here.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

1. I wish I didn't snapchat him on Friday haha
2. That's about it. The only things I regret are the things I didn't do. 
3. No ragrets.
4. No ragrets.
5. No ragrets.
6. No regrets. 

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1. Mom
2. Dad
3. Brother
4. Brother
5. God

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

1. When people brag about their drunk stories as if they accomplished something astonishing in life. 
2. Not being polite and not having manners. 
3. Not caring about the future. 
4. When someone's ego is bigger than the universe. 

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

1. Muscular body. 
2. Being good with children. 
3. Being humble. 

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

1. XD
2. -______________-

Day Ten: One confession.

1. I'm so lost and confused and unhappy, it gets harder to cope everyday. 

Heart versus Mind

Thoughts in: L.A.

Last week was pretty rough. Apart from heartly confusions, second-guesses, and realizations about friends, I was hit by the tiny fact that I'm a bit unhappy with my college. That's not what this post is about though. This is about confusions between what you know your heart wants, what your mind tells you to do, and what your heart wants you to forget. 

It's amazing how one person can help make all your struggles disappear. How little gestures like making you feel wanted, not leaving you alone, and respecting you could change everything and surprise yourself. Sometimes, allowing something extremely new to happen to you isn't such a bad thing - even if it's something you would never have dreamed you'd let happen. At the end of the day it helps you grow. Most importantly, it clears your mind and lets your heart loosen up the knots that have been tightening for the past week. 

Maybe your heart will open up to realizations you didn't want to admit to before. Maybe you'll be more selfless and less selfish about what you want to happen. Maybe you'll be more open to actually allowing time take things through, because this time, maybe you won't be running out of it too fast. 

Firsts

Memories from: Everywhere

I just got off the phone with my best friend and it got me thinking of "firsts." Just for the fun of it, I decided to list down the first time I've done stuff. This will probably be on-going, so this list that I published wouldn't ever be finished.

1. First time I went mini-golfing:
• Durham, NC at Frankie's with my closest friends from Elon: Najah, Janae, Kimberly, and Michelle.
2. First time I ate an actual meal in the Cheesecake Factory:
• Durham, NC, same day I went mini-golfing for the first time with the same people.
3. First time I ate cake from the Cheesecake Factory:
• Wayne, NJ, Spring break 2013 when my mom visited me and we bought a cake for my cousin's birthday. 
4. First time I went to the state fair:
• Raleigh, NC, in October 2013 with my friends Janae, Kimberly, and Bea. 
• That day was also the first time I tried a giant turkey leg.
5. First time I ate in Chipotle:
• Washington D.C in October 2012 with my friend Amy, who brought me home with her to Maryland for Fall Break of freshman year. 
• That was the first road trip I had since I came to the US and the first time I went to D.C. and Maryland. 
6. First time I drank milk tea (and liked it):
• Kaohsiung, Taiwan, in 2003, 4th grade, after our P.E. team won a game, our teacher bought us milk tea. I've been addicted ever since. 
7. First time I ate Lu-Wei (and liked it):
• Kenting, Taiwan, Summer 2013, when my high school friends and I stayed in Kenting for 3 days and 2 nights. That Lu-Wei was life-changing. I don't know how I lived 9 years in Taiwan not liking that street food. 
8. First time I went laser-tagging:
• Manila, Philippines, Summer 2011, my cousins and I played in Alabang Town Center and got beaten by experienced little kids. I missed an important phone call in those 15 minutes haha. 
9. First time I touched a slot machine:
• Atlantic City, NJ, Spring Break 2013, when my relatives, my mom, and I went to Atlantic City for vacation within a vacation. I had no idea what I was doing, but I believe that at one point, I earned more money than I used...and then lost it all. I hope my quarter went to a better place. 
10. First time I got into a Taiwanese drama/variety show:
• Kaohsiung, Taiwan, Summer 2007, I really got into 棒棒堂 and the drama I was obsessed with was Brown Sugar Macchiato...because 王子. 
11. First time I got into a Korean drama:
• Kaohsiung, Taiwan, May 2009, the month Boys Over Flowers came into my life. All those nights I slept at 5am were worth it - even if it happened a week before finals. 

Top 5 Challenge

Challenge done in: L.A.

I was bored so I decided to look for challenges...so...here's one before I do a K-Drama challenge lol. If you haven't noticed, I'm in my K-Drama phase, so just bare with me :P

1. Five interesting facts about yourself.
1. I want to live in San Francisco and New York at one point in my life. 
2. When I'm alone in my room at night, I turn off all the lights, blast my music, and dance in the dark. It's actually the best XD
3. Sometimes when I'm walking somewhere and listening to music on my iPod, I pretend that I'm in a music video. 
4. I wish I could sing and take photos for a living. 
5. I self-taught myself in guitar so that I could sing while playing an instrument. 
2. Five important people.
1. My dad
2. My mom
3. My brother
4. My other brother
5. Nathan (cuz I'm gonna marry him one day) ;)
3. Five items you can't live without.
1. Laptop
2. Phone
3. Camera
4. iPod
5. Guitar
4. Five wishes.
1. That I can buy a nice house for my parents and brothers and provide for them so that they don't have to worry about finances. 
2. Bring my youngest brother to the states so he could go to school and receive special education because he's autistic. 
3. I wish I could achieve these by doing something I love - whether it be singing, being a photographer, or filmmaker. 
4. I wish that my whole family (including relatives) can live happy and healthy lives without much financial trouble. 
5. I wish I could teleport and eat as much as I want without getting fat. 
5. Five favorite quotes.
1. "The goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will."
2. "Don't forget, if the future should take you away, that you'll always be part of me."
3. "At the end of the game, the pawns and the king go to the same box."
4. "Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."
5. "Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

It's that Rainy Day Music

Memories from: The Philippines

It's actually raining here in LA, the land of drought...or so they say since December. What I love about a rainy day is staying inside my house/apartment/dorm, looking at the cloudy day outside my window while the rain falls. It just gives that feeling of comfort. Plus, there are just some songs that go so well with a rainy day. So here I am, on my bed, listening to the OST of Boys Over Flowers and it reminds me of the time I finished watching that K-Drama in freshman year and listened to the soundtrack while I traveled to the Philippines.

Maybe it was my lingering feelings about the show that made it extra special, or maybe it was the fact that I got to see another part of the Philippines that made the music feel more fitting. It's been 5 years since the summer of 2009, but the memories that I associate with the songs are still alive. The jeepney rides, the extreme heat, the beach where we walked on whatever-object-it-was-on-the-ocean and screamed our lungs out, the dance classes, and feeling wet most of the time from the sweat, the pool water, or the ocean. Isn't it neat how some songs can bring up certain memories that you thought were gone forever?

I miss the Philippines. I miss how happy all my visits there were. The vibe of all the different locations, the people I've met and and hung out with, and maybe the fact that at certain points in time, my life actually seemed like a Korean Drama.

Rainy days and rainy-day-songs. Let all the feels begin.

Space

Thoughts from: L.A.

I don't know if anyone's ever mentioned it before, but there's something about sitting out on the balcony at night, with nothing but your thoughts and your laptop, while drops of rain are falling down from the star-less sky of L.A. My philosophy professor and a few other people I've met have been telling me that we're experiencing a drought in the city of angels and that rain has been absent. Maybe it's because of those words that I know appreciate rain a little bit more...either that or I just need to buy an umbrella.

What is it about time and space that defines life? It's always there - In the movies, where we have to plan out how much time we're going to spend showing a scene; in our daily lives, where we have to figure out how to use up our time in a non-wasteful way; or in the sky, that extends outside the world, and therefore is just called "space." We're in a world that requires defining so that we won't be lost. But I guess even when we define things, nothing ever seems to have clarity.

Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it's just a human need to want to understand everything. That's why we're always asking questions even when the answers seem out of reach. Like, what else is there in outer space? Why do clouds give us the illusion that we can jump on them when in reality, we'd just fall through them?

To the Beautiful You

Memories from: L.A.

I just finished the last episode of "To the Beautiful You." It was perfect and I could not count how many times tears fell out of my right eye because I was laying down on my right side. But this K-Drama was soooo amazing in so many ways! Let's forget the part where it takes 14-15 episodes for the two main characters to finally confess and get together. This was the cutest k-drama I've seen in a while. I love it cuz it included everything I would want to watch - cute romantic scenes, camping trips, out-of-town trips (I LOVE IT WHEN THEY ALL GO OUT TO A RANDOM PLACE AND HAVE FUN), cute jealousy, serious jealousy that gets the confession going, and very very very very lovable actors that make their characters so easy to love.

I must say, this drama changed my views on Minho. I thought he was a cutesy kinda guy and didn't really find him attractive, but dayumm he was manly in this one and his body. Okay. Let's just have a moment of silence to appreciate his body.

And more moments of silence to appreciate the many scenes of very very attractive Korean actors working out and doing push-ups shirtless in this show. That's a huge plus. Back to the topic. I loved how Tae Joon's character developed from a pained and antisocial person to a loving and open one. The way he opened up to Jae Hee was just beautiful. THIS DRAMA WAS SO CUTE, I CAN'T EVEN. I'm probably gonna re-watch the last 3 episodes during the weekend or something. My heart has not beaten this fast since...okay I don't even remember. But my heart was beating really fast. This just made me really happy - the OST makes me happy too. It was definitely what I needed this week :) I feel like my heart can't be put to rest for a while haha.

This will always have a special place in my heart. It will be that Korean Drama that I saw in my 2nd week of school here at CSUN. It will be that Korean Drama that made me feel so much happier than I ever did in my 1st week of school.

 I have so many emotions now, I don't even know how to express them. IT WAS SUCH A FEEL-GOOD DRAMA. SO MUCH LOVE FOR IT. I'M SO SAD THAT I FINISHED IT BUT I'M SO HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME. CAN'T CONTAIN ALL THESE EMOTIONS!!

"Miracle is just another word for hard work." 

A little K-Drama Rant

Thoughts from: L.A.

In need of something light-humored & romantic to watch, I decided to embark on a new K-Drama, hoping to find one that'll make me feel giddy and squeally in the inside. Well, the universe granted me my wish because it made me give "To the Beautiful You" a try instead of watching "Secret Garden." Needless to say, I've been hooked since yesterday and can't really do anything other than watch that darned good show. It is 1:28am. I have just used all my will power to force me to sleep, but instead, I am blogging about it just because I have so many feelings.

Really though, HOW COULD YOU SPEND 13 EPISODES - PROBABLY 14 HOURS IN TOTAL - WITHOUT ANYONE CONFESSING?! Seriously. Loving this show and how it's all really cute and not-so-overly-dramatic, but come on, you've got to give me something! Anyway, I'm probably gonna finish the whole show tomorrow since I'm on Episode 13 right now and it only goes on until Episode 16. It's gonna be really really sad because WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT IT?!?! TT______TT

So that's just my little rant. Haha, good night! :)

Don't forget, if the future should take you away, that you'll always be part of me

Memories from: North Carolina

A week and a half has gone by since I came to LA, and even if I got to share some good days with new friends and old friends, I still wake up in the morning with a heavy heart. It's just so hard to not think of the first day I came back to North Carolina for sophomore year. The feeling that I was back in the arms of friends I've made in freshman year and have grown so close with; the feeling of familiarity; the feeling that I wasn't alone; the feeling that I was in a place where I was loved. As much as I long for that feeling, I know I wouldn't have that right now, or at least for a while. But I hope I find it again. Until then, skype dates and text messages with those friends, my loves, will help keep me going. Because they help me go through the days I feel alone. In some way, they help fuel my day.
Sunday morning, where rain didn't fall from the skies of LA, I was able to have a great google hangout with my besties from Elon. That was the quickest 4 hours of my life - and I guess that's why the semester went by so fast in Elon - because I was with them, and because even during times when there was nothing to do, at least I could do nothing with them, and that alone made time go by so swiftly.

I long for the day we're all reunited again. I have no idea when that would be, but I hope it happens. When it does, without a doubt, we'll be as crazy and stalkerish as we used to be together. :)

"Don't forget, if the future should take you away, that you'll always be part of me." - Toy Story 3

First Friendaversary

Memories from: North Carolina

Approximately one year ago, I met my good friend Michelle's brothers in a wondrous vacation Elon University calls "fake break." It's a bit mind boggling that in exactly one year, we wouldn't even be together to celebrate this occasion and that I'd be in the opposite side of the country from them. How do you measure a year? Better yet, how do you measure friendship? They say friendship takes time - and I agree. But every once in a while, you'll be granted friends that you click with right on the spot; friends that just become close to you instantly. And it doesn't matter how long of a time you've spent together. At the end of the day, when it's time to part, you just know how much that friendship means to you and how you wish that you could spend countless days with them. I'm blessed enough to say that I found that kind of friendship in them. 

I don't think there will ever be a day when I'd think I've had enough time with them. That's a given. The time I have with them will never be enough. As sad as that sounds, I'm still thankful that I was given the chance to spend exceptionally wonderful days with them. There was not a single dull day. Everything was an adventure - maybe not physically all the time, but an adventure in a sense that there was always something new to learn about each other; that there was always something to share, cry, and laugh about.  

Even if my heart still aches from missing all my friends in North Carolina, I still seek shelter from the words of this quote:

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.

 

Lost in the city of angels

It's been a while since senior year of high school - a lot has changed - about me, about life, and about what I thought or hoped everything would be. But I guess it's time to start blogging again; I feel like I really need to let everything out for a while.
After 1.5 years of college in North Carolina, I am now in Los Angeles starting a new life in a new university. Things have been rough this first week, especially with my feelings about saying goodbye to my friends in NC and starting from ground zero again in a new place where I don't know anyone. So to help me cope, I've decided I want this blog to be a bit different. It's gonna be sort of my travel blog, but different. I'm going to write little blogs about an experience or a memory I had in a certain place - whether it be the Philippines, Taiwan, North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, or Los Angeles. You'll probably hear a lot about North Carolina because I am pretty homesick for it. But I hope this goes well :)